What are wedding vows?
Vows are the promises you make to each other during your wedding ceremony. The history comes from Medieval England and is based on the couples agreement to marry each other and to keep the vow of marriage by mutual consent.
As your celebrant, your wedding vows, are the most meaningful part of the day. In ten years will you look back and remember the dinner, the table decorations etc. or the feeling of standing in front of your loved ones making a lifetime commitment to your partner and sharing your love for each other through your personal vows.
During your ceremony there are legal vows that have to repeated to make the marriage legal “I call upon the persons here present to witness that I, A.B. (or C.D.), take thee, C.D. (or A.B.), to be my lawful wedded wife (husband or spouse)”… Once these have been said you can then say/read your personal vows to each other.
How do we do that you ask?
Here are a few tips
- Decide together what sort of vows you want, heartfelt, humorous, traditional, or a combination.
- Do you want to make the same promises to each other or totally different?
- Are they going to be a couple of sentences or a paragraph or more?
- Are you going to write them together or separately? Some like to keep their vows a surprise until the day.
Once you’ve thought about these, have a look online for some examples or ask your celebrant for some if you want to get some ideas. But, ultimately you want them in your own words and from your heart, not someone else’s.
Here are some questions to get you started.
- What made you fall in love with your partner?
- What did you think when you first saw them?
- What do you admire about them?
- What do you miss about them when you’re apart?
- How is your life better because they are in it?
- What is your favourite memory of them?
- What do you see in your future?
Now come up with one or two promises, vows, they are the most important part. They can broad like “I promise to always love you” or specific like “I promise to always love you even when you squeeze the toothpaste from the middle”.
Then sit down, put it all together and write it out so it flows. I always like to read my writing out loud to myself then you can hear how it sounds and you often pick up little corrections. If you are struggling with this part ask me to help.
Most of all, start early, take your time and enjoy the process your partner will thank you for it.
Remember you can always ask your celebrant for help and advice.